


101 Practical Purposes for Babies: or, Adventures in Baby Sitting

by TheCyborgThatCould



Category: The Losers (2010), The Losers - All Media Types
Genre: Babies are not Mops, Crack, Gen, Jolene is a BAMF, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-05
Updated: 2012-11-05
Packaged: 2017-11-18 00:21:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/554833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCyborgThatCould/pseuds/TheCyborgThatCould
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pooch would never let them babysit again if Jolene found out about this.</p>
<p>Or, Reason number 76 that Jensen is not allowed around children unsupervised.</p>
            </blockquote>





	101 Practical Purposes for Babies: or, Adventures in Baby Sitting

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by the ever awesome Lady Rhian

Pooch would never let them babysit again if Jolene found out about this.

Cougar stood in the entry-way of their tiny two-bedroom house in Hartford and stared in what he hoped was read as mute horror and deep disapproval.

Jensen stood in the kitchen carefully watching over the tiny body that slowly crawled around the linoleum floor, patiently directing it from left to right with the gentle nudge of his foot. When he looked up and saw Cougar glaring at him, he scooped up the baby triumphantly and approached Cougar with a grin.

“COUGS! Hey mini-Pooch! It’s Uncle Cougar!” Jensen danced the baby over, two-stepping across the kitchen and into the foyer.

“Cougs! Check it out Cougs! Some genius somewhere figured out a way to make babies _useful_! Do you see, Cougs! It’s a _onesie_! That’s a _MOP_!”

Jensen presented for inspection the dust covered baby wearing what appeared to be, indeed, a blue and yellow fluffy mop, complete with dinosaur embroidery and what looked to be most of the dirt lingering on the kitchen floor from the last time Jensen thought mud wrestling actually sounded like a good idea. The baby gurgled and took one dirty hand into his mouth as Jensen leaned in for a kiss from Cougar. Jensen received a nip on the neck for his trouble, and Cougar took the drooling filthy baby from Jensen and walked to the back bedroom they’d set aside as a guest-room/baby-room/Jensen-isn’t-allowed-to-have-explosives-corrosives-or-electronics-in-this-room room.

“Hey! That was my baby! Where ya going? Cougar? What’s with the long face, buddy? Cat got your tongue? Heh, get it? Cats, tongues? I mean, not that a cat wouldn’t like your tongue, you’ve got a great tongue, lemme tell you, you proved that last nig… aaand, we’re into not-baby-safe territory. But really, Cougs? Where are you taking my baby? I was using that!”

Cougar sighed and removed the onesie while Jensen stood over his shoulder, hoping against hope that Jolene would never discover the uses Jensen had found for her child. She had a left hook like prize fighter and the last person disrespect her spawn had received twelve stiches.

“Cougar! Wait ‘till you see the _awesome_ video mini-Pooch and I made and put on youtube! It’s got a thousand hits! Think I should send it out to the team? I mean, I posted it on facebook, but they might have missed it, ya know?”

And this? This is why Jensen, the love of his life, the apple of his eye, and slightly hyperactive yin to his more taciturn and deadly yang, would never be allowed to reproduce.

Especially once Jolene got a hold of him. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is the link that started it all.... 
> 
> http://www.betterthanpants.com/baby-mop.html


End file.
